Emotionless: Devoid of emotion; impassive, cold, cold-blooded, unaffected.

Today I went to my weekly counseling session where we discussed my weekend mistake (See the White Castle entry). It scares me that I drank that much -- or even the reason why I drank that much. I guess I just wanted to try forget everything for a while. Unfortunately, I made a big mistake and drove -- a mistake that could have hurt or maybe worse killed someone.
I just want to stop feeling for a while. I want to be free of any feelings that I have. I know someone who has completely shutoff their emotions, and I want to be like that person. The questions that I have is how does one become emotionless? How does one stop caring, feeling, or acknowledging a part of their life? How does one close off so easy? I would like to know the answers. How does one care more about stuff than a human? My counselor said that because I am a good, loving, and caring person that is why I cannot be emotionless.

In yoga class today, the instructor told us to dedicate the practice to someone who could use love and peace. I dedicated the practice to me.

I will always feel. I will always care. I will always love. I just will not wait.