Some Random Thoughts
I really should be doing some work right now, but I cannot get connected to work due to a VPN issue, so I guess I will blog.
I had one of my counseling sessions today, and it really made me think about my situation, and how I view my vows. I guess others may see that vows are nothing more than a bit of legal jargon and paperwork, but I cannot put myself into that mindset. They are so much more than that. They are my words fidelity, love, trust, and support to a spouse through it all. Just my thought.
I have been thinking about going to see my grandmother. She is very sick and has gone into hospice care. The part that makes it so difficult is that I will have to lie about my situation to her, as my mother and uncle do not want to upset her. I think this is why I am having such a hard time going to see her, as I don't like to lie, and that she will ask way too much about her. How do I answer? What am I supposed to say? hopefully she won't pass on before I can find the right words.
Lastly, I have been thinking about me. I feel like my old self from an emotional perspective, but in other ways I feel so different. I wish I knew how to explain it, but I just feel different.
Song of the day:
I heard one of my favorite Sebadoh songs on the radio today, which then got stuck in my head.
Sebadoh "Willing to Wait"
When you see him again
Tell him everything that you told me
Tell him that I’m still your friend
And maybe you would like to see me again
I’m willing to wait my turn to be with you
But I still have a lot to learn about me
And no one’s sure if we should be together
But oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend, she opened up her heart and let me in
No, I cannot lie to you
I’m still in love with you, and I only wanna be with you
So when you see him again
Tell him everything that you told me
We’re more than friends and maybe we should start again
Maybe you could love me again
‘Cuz oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend, she opened up her heart and let me in
No, I cannot lie to you
I’m still in love with you, and I only wanna be with you
I only wanna be with you
I had one of my counseling sessions today, and it really made me think about my situation, and how I view my vows. I guess others may see that vows are nothing more than a bit of legal jargon and paperwork, but I cannot put myself into that mindset. They are so much more than that. They are my words fidelity, love, trust, and support to a spouse through it all. Just my thought.
I have been thinking about going to see my grandmother. She is very sick and has gone into hospice care. The part that makes it so difficult is that I will have to lie about my situation to her, as my mother and uncle do not want to upset her. I think this is why I am having such a hard time going to see her, as I don't like to lie, and that she will ask way too much about her. How do I answer? What am I supposed to say? hopefully she won't pass on before I can find the right words.
Lastly, I have been thinking about me. I feel like my old self from an emotional perspective, but in other ways I feel so different. I wish I knew how to explain it, but I just feel different.
Song of the day:
I heard one of my favorite Sebadoh songs on the radio today, which then got stuck in my head.
Sebadoh "Willing to Wait"
When you see him again
Tell him everything that you told me
Tell him that I’m still your friend
And maybe you would like to see me again
I’m willing to wait my turn to be with you
But I still have a lot to learn about me
And no one’s sure if we should be together
But oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend, she opened up her heart and let me in
No, I cannot lie to you
I’m still in love with you, and I only wanna be with you
So when you see him again
Tell him everything that you told me
We’re more than friends and maybe we should start again
Maybe you could love me again
‘Cuz oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend, she opened up her heart and let me in
No, I cannot lie to you
I’m still in love with you, and I only wanna be with you
I only wanna be with you
posted by Brian at 7:26 PM
1 Comments:
Go and see Grandma. If she passes on and you haven't been to see her, the issue will seem so petty. And you know, I find little old ladies are a helluva lot tougher than a lot people give them credit for. She might just surprise you with how she takes the news, if it comes out.
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