Life is different now: The day after
It is a little over 14 hours since my estranged spouse asked me for a divorce. I am doing OK, I guess that I did much of my mourning over the last two months, but it still really hurts. I am trying to focus on work and moving forward, but I am bothered by so much. First, why is she so unemotional to all of this? Second, why would she say that she was never happy in the relationship? Lastly, why did she hide it for so long?
A part of me knew she was going to run from the marriage, but a piece of me always thought that she would let herself open up to me enough to start talking this through. I even had a dream that she let me put the ring back on her finger (weird). I guess that would require her removing the emotional wall she put up.
It still bothers me that she now has a secret life somewhere in Ann Arbor, but I need to let that go. She is running from something and sooner or later it will catch up with her. It bothers me that she will not go to counseling to delve into what is the core of her issues, as I have been told that it is not truly our marriage or me. I would just hate for a big mistake to be made.
Sometimes I wonder if she is so buried by her school, work and side project that she has not really taken the time to evaluate things as deeply as I have.
I have taken the last of the wedding photos and marriage contract and put them away. I will burn the contract once the divorce is final.
I have been praying a lot lately and in part asking God why are you punishing me and my family so much. Have we not suffered enough. What have we done to deserve all this torment and pain? why have so many of my friends gone through so much suffering over the last year? Only god knows.
A part of me knew she was going to run from the marriage, but a piece of me always thought that she would let herself open up to me enough to start talking this through. I even had a dream that she let me put the ring back on her finger (weird). I guess that would require her removing the emotional wall she put up.
It still bothers me that she now has a secret life somewhere in Ann Arbor, but I need to let that go. She is running from something and sooner or later it will catch up with her. It bothers me that she will not go to counseling to delve into what is the core of her issues, as I have been told that it is not truly our marriage or me. I would just hate for a big mistake to be made.
Sometimes I wonder if she is so buried by her school, work and side project that she has not really taken the time to evaluate things as deeply as I have.
I have taken the last of the wedding photos and marriage contract and put them away. I will burn the contract once the divorce is final.
I have been praying a lot lately and in part asking God why are you punishing me and my family so much. Have we not suffered enough. What have we done to deserve all this torment and pain? why have so many of my friends gone through so much suffering over the last year? Only god knows.
posted by Brian at 11:39 AM
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